Mixed Feelings

Today I am feeling a little. . . not sure what exactly I'm feeling.  It looks like the sale of my industrial quilting machine is going to go through, and I have mixed feelings with that.  That machine has been a huge part of my life, and my actual BECOMING MYSELF.  After many years in a marriage where I was not valued, this was something that truly represented my liberation.  I could make a living with this!  I did have value.  Kevin was wrong.  He can just sit there in his wrongness and be wrong. 

 It's taken a long time to get over those other feelings, but I have done it and I feel that it's time to let the machine go do its work for someone else.  But at the same time, it's difficult for me to let go of this tangible representation of my own freedom.  I'm not sure if what I'm saying is over-dramatic or exactly right, but it is how I feel about this situation.  Maybe it's overdramatic and exactly right.  The machine is going to a good home.

This weekend I have a lot to do.  If it's not windy, Kaleigh and I will mix up our dirt for the raised beds and get it set up for planting.  Thrilling!  (I'm not being sarcastic here)  I may go ahead and plant the lettuce and get a few other plants, I think we are way past any very cold weather this year.  I also need to go into work and organize my office, which has become disastrous.  I have no storage space in my classroom, so everything I need has to be displayed or in my tiny office, and I don't have time during the day to get in there and straighten things up, so everything gets piled on my desk until I can't take it anymore.  So basically I can't take it any more.  I also need to go to the dollar store to get some bins, and I want to work on my quilting project for my school's carnival and auction.  Grocery shopping and laundry will round out the festivities. 

I also think I will do some cooking this weekend.  While I'm not a great cook, and I don't LOVE to cook like my sister does, I like to cook when I have time and feel like it.  Lucky for me, Kaleigh is growing up to be a very adventurous cook.